If Ilya's initial rough story treatment for Superman 3 reached assignment stage I'd definitely want to bowdlerise certain elements to avoid non sequitur.

Non sequitur means premise does not reach its logical conclusion.

For this hypothetical scenario let's say Ilya wanted to keep as much of his story outline as possible; what could be done to structure the outline before committing to script?

As with any approach to story, an idea is born and then, if you are a pro, mould that idea to fit a premise, to test character, or as I prefer, a thesis (Author's viewpoint), anti-thesis (character fighting the author's viewpoint) and synthesis (conclusion, and usually the thesis is proven).

I don't think premise comes first, which is the school of thought Lajos Egri adheres to, however, I do think either approach is dependant on the author, but letting ideas brew in your head before being tied to premise is more natural and passionate.

For this brief look at rewriting the outline I'm strictly adhering to characters in the outline and avoiding the addition of new elements to the story, i.e. characters, which, perhaps, might radically change the approach.

The first two Superman films deal with the Needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. I've discussed this in the provocative question article here.

Ilya's outline features a number of interesting but flotsam ideas. These fragmented idea leads to confusion about the film's premise. The other, more notable point is that there is too much story to tell. I do see at least two films in the outline. After reading the outline, a germ of a premise was formulating in my mind: I see heritage, searching for one's place in the universe, being the DNA of the story.

Let's look at the main characters in the outline:

The characters:
Superman
Lana Lang
Lois Lane
Mister Mxyzptlk
Brainiac
Supergirl
Jimmy

I agree with Ilya, Lois Lane has been done but her function in the story can be bookended, for familiarity's sake. I don't like her just appearing and disappearing without impacting the story, which was a mistake in the film - and in this outline.

I do see a love/hate triangle between Lana, Superman and Lois. This love triangle manifests itself as the film bounds along but the story would need to be radically changed to accommodate this ménage a trios, and since Lois is hardly suppose to be in the film, I go back to what I wrote here; Lois has found a new guy, she's moved on with her life and doesn't look over her shoulder. Keep it brief and to the point.

I'm reticent to the notion of Lana appearing at the Daily Planet in the beginning. I think she'd have to earn her stripes in the film. The writer must inflict conflict on her. Don't give her an easy ride. I think she needs to be the antithesis of Lois Lane - still stuck at home.

Jimmy's role is insignifcant in this outline but I'd like to think that he'll more useful as the story is being concreted.

The meat of the story is Superman and Supergirl, They represent two different, conflicting worlds.
I think what exists in the outline about Brainiac raising Supergirl is the 1st act of a film about Supergirl. This could easily be hokey, verging on the camp. It'd have to be played with utmost seriousness.

For my initial outline I'll force Supergirl into the story and see what comes of it.

The film begins on Krypton. Kara's family, Brainiac and Argo City's inhabitants escape as the planet disintegrates. Eventually, during the years, Brainiac, with his ever-culminating knowledge imprisons [encapsulates] Argo City's populous. Everyone is tagged. They've accepted their fate except for one. Kara wants to be break free from family because she's young, perhaps, precocious. Kara escapes in a spacecraft of some description and travels through a wormhole. Brainiac tracks her.

Meanwhile…

….Superman yearns for home. He's destroyed the Fortress of Solitude, because Scientists have located it. He returns to Smallville, perhaps seeing his silver haired mother for the last time before she passes away. He attends the Smallville School Reunion. There he finds out that Lana's married to an abusive husband. Her servility frustrates Clark. He feels like an outsider, isolated from everyone he thought he knew.

As you can see I've established character wants:
Supergirl wants to break free from the clutches of family and familiarity - her home.
Superman wants family and a place he can call home.

Both their stories intersect -- creating an interesting conflict.

Kara lands on Earth. She's not in costume, by the way. She learns she's got powers beyond belief but she can't control them and hasn't discovered all of them yet. At some point Superman and Supergirl come together and we explore their relationship throughout the 2nd act.

If Superman and Supergirl are cousins, then, just like in the original Scarface, Superman's feelings for Supergirl, perhaps, border on the incessant, at first, and because Superman feels that he has no one, he becomes protective of her like a father figure.

She does don the costume. She's introduced to the world. Superman is reluctant to unveil her but Supergirl is eager to show-off and enjoys the attention. Jimmy delivers the pictures to the Daily Planet.

They get involved in super heroics, perhaps igniting the sub-villain, Mister Mxyzptlk. Supergirl becomes increasingly reckless and frustrated by Superman's shadow, so she escapes to explore the world independently, whilst still discovering her powers.

Instead of Brainiac rearing [ha ha] Kara, Superman guides Supergirl because it's a Superman picture and logically we want to see the hero in action in as many scenes as possible. I think Brainiac raising Supergirl takes up too much screen time which could be utilised elsewhere and I see Superman's relationship with Supergirl being the anchor of the story.

While the Superman and Supergirl story is unfolding, Brainiac descends to Earth in search of Kara, now called Supergirl. And because he can track her, he will eventually trap her. He might even create a kingdom, similar to Krypton (theme about heritage). It could be at either pole, but it doesn't have to be. He'll imprison Earth and maybe, just maybe, Brainiac acts like Kryptonite, so even Supergirl can't use her powers so she must use her brains.
Brainiac has a thirst for knowledge, and by creating a Kryptonian utopia on Earth, he can drain the planet over time and become an invincible energy source. Perhaps he encapsulates Metropolis?

Earlier in the story I introduced Mister Mxyzptlk. He's now in league with Brainiac. Mister Mxyzptlk relates to the theme about the mind being trapped in an anachronistic world. Superman dashes to Supergirl's rescue but Mxyzptlk traps Superman in another dimension, where Krypton exists.

Superman is considered an enemy there and realizes that he can never be with his family and with the Kryptonians that he never knew. He can't capture the zeitgeist. That time has gone. He must find a way of returning to our dimension - and he does, through a time portal.

He returns to Earth, with steely determination. First he frees Supergirl, and then together they battle Brainiac. Supergirl struggles because she hasn't embraced all her powers. Superman is captured, on the verge of death. Supergirl finally embraces all her powers, she finally grows up. She frees Superman. Now that their relationship is in sync, they use Mister Mxyzptlk (mind over muscle) and they send Brainiac into another dimension.

There's one final battle, one of wits, between our heroes and Mister Mxyzptlk before the latter is sent into another dimension.

I've cut out Brainiac controlling Superman's personality because Mister Mxyzptlk won't get the necessary screen time.

If I keep the Superman personality disorder plot, then I'm inclined to remove characters, such as Mxyzptlk and Supergirl, to give this intriguing idea its due but in another context. This also requires changes to the premise. Changing and removing scenes is just like pulling pages out of a book, without re-imaging the author's intent, it affects the whole story. So we must go back to the premise and make adjustments.
By the end of the film, the synthesis is clear as day: You were at home but you didn't know it.

Character conclusions:

Kara's selfish actions - escaping from the clutches of her family - freed her people. In the end, she realises how much she misses them, but to reach that point Kara had to be rebellious, which is what most teens and twenty-somethings must purge from their system to understand the importance of family and their place. We only learn by avoiding the very thing we should be doing.

Supergirl learns that she was happier when she was with her family, and now that Brainiac has been imprisoned in another dimension, she wants to return home. Earth is alien to her. Kara offers Superman a chance to be with her family. Return to his heritage. Superman declines, this is his home - Earth - I just didn't know it at first.
Supergirl returns to Argo City by using Brainiac's spacecraft.

Clark returns to the Planet and learns that Lois dropped has her boyfriend. She complains about missing the great story of Brainiac and Supergirl. If I were to expand Lana Lang in the picture, then she'd now have a job at the Planet, and thus begins an interest love triangle - the impetus for Superman IV…

End with Supergirl reaching Argo City.

This is my interpretation of Ilya's outline, at least on its first pass. It's not in-depth outline by any means because I'm not an expert on the Superman universe. Essentially I'm stripping elements which do not answer or relate to the theme of the film thus avoiding non sequitur.

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